Dead to the old way of living
Being born again implies that what one’s life has been in the past is not alive anymore. In my experience--being born again has required a process of daily renewal and transformation, from the putting off the old and putting on the new. This is perhaps a lifelong process, of continuous falling down and getting back up again.
Regrettably my story is quite sordid and disgraceful…and I feel very stupid and embarrassed when I recount all the things I have put my wife and family through, due to my own pridefulness, ungratefulness, self absorption and impulsive behavior.
Over the years it seems that the Spirit has systematically peeled layer after layer of falsehood off my essential true self, enabling me to gradually cease living a lie and to face the honest truth about my own weaknesses. For many years I sought to compensate for these weaknesses and insecurities through attitudes of pride, arrogance, insensitivity, sarcasm and a lack of compassion for those around me.
My poor judgment and thoughtless impulsive behavior eventually resulted in the loss of a financially successful career and in grievous financial losses for me and my family. It is indeed ironic that I had once been known for advising and assisting others in financial matters—with a reputation for being a wise financial manager!
Looking back on much of the past 10 years causes me to gasp in horror at my own wicked indiscretions. As I recall my past actions, I realize that I may have seemed like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
What pains me most of all is that I have been precariously close to the point of disregarding God’s most precious gift to me in this life. Thankfully I can affirm today that God has preserved our marriage and we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this May. I am thankful for the most positive, faithful girl I have ever known, Leslie Porter Smith.
Our life’s circumstances have changed dramatically over the time that Leslie and I have been members at Calvary-Waco. I can testify to the power of Christ in deliverance from captivity and in His healing of my soul and mind.
Like the man of the Gerasenes whom Jesus healed in the gospel story, I have experienced Christ’s touch of healing...sometimes I feel like he has driven ‘Legion’ out of me.
Through His word Christ repeatedly promises us that if open our lives to Him, that the Father will immediately give us his greatest gift: His Holy Spirit-- when we but ask Him. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us the wisdom to die daily to our lower self and gives us the grace to seek His will, daily living abundantly “in Christ”. His Spirit can chase away the pain and the sordid deeds of our past, and constantly replaces those things with His Spirit’s truth and light, enabling us to live in the present moment and experience His life, today, now.
Thank you church for your prayers for me over the past years as His grace has enabled us to endure trial upon trial. The influence and ministry of many of you in this church has been a source of joy, strength and tangible evidence of God’s care for us over the years.
I can truly say, for myself and my family—Great is Thy Faithfulness.
He has never failed us, and for that I can say this—“Thanks be to God.”
-Sam Smith
Regrettably my story is quite sordid and disgraceful…and I feel very stupid and embarrassed when I recount all the things I have put my wife and family through, due to my own pridefulness, ungratefulness, self absorption and impulsive behavior.
Over the years it seems that the Spirit has systematically peeled layer after layer of falsehood off my essential true self, enabling me to gradually cease living a lie and to face the honest truth about my own weaknesses. For many years I sought to compensate for these weaknesses and insecurities through attitudes of pride, arrogance, insensitivity, sarcasm and a lack of compassion for those around me.
My poor judgment and thoughtless impulsive behavior eventually resulted in the loss of a financially successful career and in grievous financial losses for me and my family. It is indeed ironic that I had once been known for advising and assisting others in financial matters—with a reputation for being a wise financial manager!
Looking back on much of the past 10 years causes me to gasp in horror at my own wicked indiscretions. As I recall my past actions, I realize that I may have seemed like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
What pains me most of all is that I have been precariously close to the point of disregarding God’s most precious gift to me in this life. Thankfully I can affirm today that God has preserved our marriage and we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this May. I am thankful for the most positive, faithful girl I have ever known, Leslie Porter Smith.
Our life’s circumstances have changed dramatically over the time that Leslie and I have been members at Calvary-Waco. I can testify to the power of Christ in deliverance from captivity and in His healing of my soul and mind.
Like the man of the Gerasenes whom Jesus healed in the gospel story, I have experienced Christ’s touch of healing...sometimes I feel like he has driven ‘Legion’ out of me.
Through His word Christ repeatedly promises us that if open our lives to Him, that the Father will immediately give us his greatest gift: His Holy Spirit-- when we but ask Him. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us the wisdom to die daily to our lower self and gives us the grace to seek His will, daily living abundantly “in Christ”. His Spirit can chase away the pain and the sordid deeds of our past, and constantly replaces those things with His Spirit’s truth and light, enabling us to live in the present moment and experience His life, today, now.
Thank you church for your prayers for me over the past years as His grace has enabled us to endure trial upon trial. The influence and ministry of many of you in this church has been a source of joy, strength and tangible evidence of God’s care for us over the years.
I can truly say, for myself and my family—Great is Thy Faithfulness.
He has never failed us, and for that I can say this—“Thanks be to God.”
-Sam Smith
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