Overcoming our own false self trap

The goal ever recedes from us.
The greater the progress, the greater the recognition of our unworthiness. Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment.
Full effort is full victory. -Mahatma Gandhi

If we have a particular weakness, life has an uncanny way of

trying us at just that vulnerable spot. The man who is

anger-prone finds himself forced to work with aggravating

people. The woman who can’t resist sweets can find no job

but one as a pastry cook.

This can seem like sheer perversity on a cosmic scale, until

we catch sight of the tremendous opportunity it provides.

Between our inner need for growth and our external

circumstances, a kind of dovetailing can often be detected.

There almost seems to be a master hand behind it all,

thrusting us time and time again into the same frustrating

situation until finally we relent: “All right, you win –

I’ll grow if you insist!” This is all that is really

expected of us. Once we have made the firm resolve to get

ourselves out of the old trap, we will be amazed how quickly

our circumstances begin to change, how quickly new

opportunities open up for us.

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As the new year takes shape, I begin to take into account

those things which continue to challenge me in the area of

self awareness, of transformation.

Just what is it that I must overcome? The same fears, anxieties, pains,

hurts, limitations continue to be there...am I making any progress?

Now, I must confess...I am a man who struggles with ideal body weight--in other words I tend to be a fat boy. I like to snack.
But, indeed, I need to become more conscious of this and make the exercise schedule I maintain yield more beneficial results--that is, I am starting to realize that I should develop a more svelte and slim body. The older I get the harder this is to accomplish...and the more important it is for my overall health.
Evagrius, the 3rd century desert father who first came up with the seven deadly sins---stated that the number one sin that one must seek to overcome is the one which seems to be hardest to deal with. For me, and for many more of my fellow fatties, it is the deadly sin of gluttony. So, there it is. Now--for me, my weak false self, it is work to overcome this sin.

Loving and wise father, my sustainer who gives me what I need, teach me your will. Implant your resolve, your energy, your strength. I am weak but you are strong.

Amen.