dealing with harsh judgment...

It is no little wisdom for you to keep yourself in silence and in good peace when evil words are spoken to you, and to turn your heart to God and not to be troubled with the judgment of others.

-Thomas a Kempis

Most of us appreciate praise, but it is disastrous to become

dependent on it. If we are going to allow our security to be

bolstered up by the praise, appreciation, and applause of

others, we are done for. I have heard about a well-known

movie star who goes to sleep at night with a tape of

recorded applause playing. This is going to make him more

and more insecure. 

Why should we get agitated if someone ignores us? There are,

after all, advantages to being ignored. We can go anywhere

in freedom. Nobody recognizes us - how good it is! In

life, there are occasions when we are ignored and sometimes

forgotten. That is the time for us to remind ourselves,

"Why do I need anybody's attention?" This

attitude can be cultivated skillfully. 

Even those of us who are the most sensitive to praise and

appreciation can learn to be so secure within ourselves that

the word rejected can be expelled from our dictionary. The

one person who will never reject us is the divine essential Self

within, and that is enough to make up for all the rejections

we may have to undergo at the hands of everyone else. ~ Sri Easwaran

This is a difficult thing to consider, and a worthy goal to which I should aspire.

I am sometimes overly sensitive to the criticism and praise of others. I think this comes

from a high ego need for the esteem and affections of others. There is something about a healthy

lack of attachment to the opinions that others seem to want to share with us. How do I gain a foothold where I can begin to practice how to not be so sensitive to this?

Cynthia Bourgeault tells the story of Mary Mzjorovsky(sp?) a woman who became

quite a practitioner of the transforming work of the spirit. She was a city dweller when she became affiliated with Contemplative Outreach in Manhattan. 

Mary devised a little 'letting go prayer' that has become a favorite of mine:

Knowing that the Holy Spirit of Christ provides me with all I need,

I let go of my need for security and survival,

I let go of my need for power and control,

I let go of my need for esteem and affection.

This is a little quiet prayer that distances me from my constant attachments.

Sometimes I find this helpful.

"Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!"