Changing the focus from self to others

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
-Mark Twain

From Easwaran: Often, when a low mood is coming on, sometimes it is because the mind has started to brood upon itself. The things that formerly seemed exciting now elicit no response. In a sense,we have closed down. A friend can talk to us and we will not hear; we can go to a movie and may not even follow the plot.We are utterly absorbed in a hall of mirrors inside, in which we and everyone around us are pushed, pulled, and twisted into fantastic shapes. There are a number of effective ways of treating these dark moods where they start, within the mind.
What helps is to do what your mind is crying out not to do: be with other people, work with them, make yourself take an active interest in what they are doing and saying. This turns attention away from yourself by directing it outward. Once you are more concerned with others, your melancholy is gone; you are alive again.
Leslie and I have for the 30+ years of our marriage, have sought to grow in this principle: If you are feeling or sensing some discontent or worry, consciously focus your will on doing an act of ministry for others.
I must confess, I was not practicing this active way of consciousness altering attitude adjustment for many years--I was just paying lip service, to please Leslie, and then I would go about continuing to be selfish and ego driven in my compartmentalized way of dealing with life.
As I began to experience the continuous unfolding of my dramatic life change that began to take place in 1997, culminating in 2001, as my primary false self ego died and was buried, I began to see glimpses of the truth in this principle and became convinced of its value.
The Lord and Pastor Julie assigned me an outlet for this practice--college student ministry. Here was a way that I could focus my energy and attention on the Living Word and others, and allow my new emerging Essential Self to grow. This was nurtured by many individuals, a spiritual director, and a faithful wife, biological and church family, plus He sustained me with a supernatural job and a way to make a living thereafter.
The awakening for me today is that this practice must continue to be a driving force in my life, as Christ has instructed:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with
all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your
neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
Gently training one's thoughts to redirect our focus to the Lord and to others is a guiding principle and reoccuring standard as we seek the transformation of our characters in Christ.

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