Head knowledge vs. heart knowledge


"You are what you believe."

-Anton Chekhov

You are what the deep faith of your heart is. If you believe
that money is going to make you happy, then you will go
after money. If you believe that pleasure will make you
happy, you will go after pleasure. Because, "as a man
thinketh in his heart, so is he," not as he thinketh in his head. 
There is a vast distance from the head to the heart. 
In the Greek and Russian Orthodox traditions, they say that whatever 
spiritual knowledge you have in your head must be brought down into your heart. 
This takes many, many years. ~Easwaran

Do you know this?
For such a long time, from the age of say 14 to the age of 48, I placed my true faith in money to give me joy...to cause me to be happy. I am just now spiritually knowing this fact. When I decided on a career, at age 17, I set a goal to become a banker. My heart was focused on that goal. Nothing else took precedence. I was a Christian, sure, because that is what my surrounding culture expected...but I was not following Jesus as Lord. Looking back, I can now see that for 30 years, I never actually thanked God for His provision, for the produce of the work I was contributing. The main thing to me was being successful, of moving up, of doing better and better, financially. Once I "hit bottom", and lost all my identity as Mr. Banker, as a successful CEO of a bank, the things I had built my life upon were gone, and I was left with no underpinnings, no foundation. I tried to blame my fall on my faith, on God. [It was true, my god had failed me, but it was because I had placed my faith in a false god, Mammon.]
When I experienced this, I sought other gods. I tried transcendental meditation, and looked into the scriptures of Hindu and Buddhist teachings...and I learned a lot--especially about how to live in the now, and live in gratitude for life and breath. 
But, when I began to earnestly meditate, and become truly centered-that is when Christ became real, and became the ascendant Master of all things Spiritual. He redeemed me, and began to restore me, bit by bit. His word in scripture became real. He became real.
Since then I have gradually become focused on the eternal, not on the temporal.
I am grateful to God every time I receive any distribution of funds!
He is blessing my business, and has provided for me and my family, in a truly supernatural way.
My head knowledge is working its way, slowly, into my heart. I don't worry about money as much any more. Anytime that old anxiety creeps into my thoughts, I am able to quickly pray my mantra--"Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me", and miraculously, I am reminded of His care and His provision. Truly His Spirit encompasses all my needs.
I praise the Lord Christ this morning for this spiritual knowledge, in my heart.


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