testify!

4/2007: C. Sam Smith, personal testimony transcript—shared at Calvary Baptist Church, Waco. I shared this testimony from the pulpit of the church April, two years ago. I found the transcript today when I was clearing out some files from an old external drive.

Being born again implies that what one’s life has been in the past is not alive anymore. In my experience--being born again has required a process of repeated transformation, from the old to the new. This is perhaps a lifelong process, of continuous falling and getting back up again.

It is embarrassing to recount all the things I have done, and the things I’ve put my wife and family through, due to my own egocentric ungratefulness, myopia, self absorption and impulsiveness.

Over the years it seems that the Spirit has systematically peeled layer after layer of falsehood off my essential true self, enabling me to cease living a lie and to face the honest truth about my own weaknesses. For many years I sought to compensate for these weaknesses and insecurities through attitudes of pride, arrogance, insensitivity, sarcasm and a lack of compassion for those around me.

My poor judgment and thoughtless behavior eventually resulted in the loss of a financially successful career and in grievous financial losses for me and my family. Ironically-- I had once been known for advising and assisting others in financial matters—with a reputation for being a wise financial manager! Ironic, huh?

Looking back on much of the past 10 years, I realize that I may have seemed like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Most painful of all, I have come precariously close to disregarding and possibly losing God’s most precious gift to me in this life. I am thankful for the most positive, faithful woman I have ever known—Leslie Porter Smith—and I am grateful that in May we will celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary together. God has preserved our marriage and I’m so grateful.

Our life’s circumstances have changed dramatically over the time that Leslie and I have been members at Calvary. I can testify to the power of Christ in deliverance from captivity and in His healing of my soul and mind. I believe I have experienced Christ’s touch of healing...sometimes I feel like the man in the Gospels who lived in a graveyard—I feel as though Jesus has driven ‘Legion’ out of me.

Through His word, Christ has shown me again and again that if I open my life to him…that the Father faithfully gives me his greatest gift—his Holy Spirit, if I’ll just ask him. God’s Spirit has helped me learn how to live out of my “best self” in Christ—and has chased away the pain caused by the actions of my past. I can say to you today that God is helping me to live in the present moment—experiencing his life today—now.

Thank you, my faithful church, for your prayers for me over the past years as His grace has enabled us to endure trial upon trial.

The influence and ministry of many of you in this church have been a source of joy, strength and tangible evidence of God’s blessing over the years.

I can truly say, for myself and my family—“Great is Thy Faithfulness”. He has never failed us, and for that I can say this—“Thanks be to God.”

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