Disagreement with detachment

One who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.
~Meister Eckhart

Most of us identify ourselves with our pet opinions. Then, when we are contradicted, we take it personally and get upset. If we could look at ourselves with some detachment, we would see how absurd this is. There is scarcely any more connection between me and my opinions than there is between me and my car. I have a close friend who is devoted to her Volkswagen Bug. If I compliment her on it, she is pleased; if I tell her what her neighbor says about Volkswagens, she feels insulted. But why? Where is the connection? She is not a VW Bug.

Once we realize at a deeper level of consciousness that we are not our opinions, most of the resentment in differences of opinion disappears.

There is nothing wrong with disagreement; in fact, sometimes it is necessary to disagree. But we should do so with complete respect for the other person. ~Easwaran

This form of detachment is a practice that I seek to emulate each day, some days with more positive effect than others. It is hard to submit our "right to be right". In fact, the competitive drive in some of us makes it almost impossible to accept other's points of view--that differ from our own. Ever notice how some folks always seem to "have to be" right? It is tiresome to be around such folks.

That is why I want to work on that tendency in myself.

Moreover, I find it subtly challenging--not only to detach from my own opinions, but at the same time not to be detached from being sensitive to others feelings and emotions. I find that I take detachment too far, and get detached from others and those I love, creating distance and without intending to, creating a feeling of aloofness, or worse, superiority. As an Enneagram 3, I tend to push away the pain, and can unconsciously and unintentionally create distance between myself, my essential self, and others, in order to avoid 'my precious ego' being "hurt".

This is why detachment is a challenging practice for me...and so it makes it doubly difficult to continue the transformation that I know the Master is calling me to, as I continually seek to grow in wisdom, and to be "a balanced and sly man", committed to Christ and His people.

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