Seeking contentment...without, and within


A sheltered life can be a daring life as well. For all serious daring starts
from within.

-Eudora Welty

I am sitting in my chair at home in my study, looking out on the ancient live oak trees in the forest that has become my neighborhood. There is everything right here in my hometown, Waco to satisfy me: birds, flowers, trees, reasonable comfort, loyal companions, and the precious opportunity of selfless service. Right here is everything I need for complete happiness always.

But as I look out of my study window I see a man with a camper-trailer driving down my street heading for the open road. Somewhere in my mind is the uneasy stirring of a wanderlust, a pent up desire to jump into that camper and go out chasing rainbows to find the pot of gold at the end.
This belief that somewhere out there is the land of joy dogs my footsteps wherever I am. Contentment is the ego search of my short life. The truth is that as long as I look upon happiness as something outside of me, I shall never be able to find it.


Wherever I go it will still be beyond my reach, because "out there" can never be "in here."
Jesus reminds me--"no one can serve two masters"--and that I must choose between God and wealth. Due to the imperfection of my own ego drives, and the extensions of my constructed personality, always I bump up against the desire for more, more wealth, more "things" of this world, for the freedom to travel and explore that the world's wealth brings.
But, truthfully, all I need is right here.


As Jesus says, "The kingdom of heaven is within."


Lord Christ--"not my will, but your will be done..."


Attend to my prayers and bring Yourself once again into my heart as Lord.


On this Saturday morning, I pray.


Amen.

[with appreciation to Eknath Easwaran for his leading thought/images]

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