How do I behave in a quarrel?

The test of a man or woman’s breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.– GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Easwaran enable me to have some insight this morning regarding my workplace challenges:
When tempers are frayed, and an argument is in progress, it is very difficult for anyone to listen with courtesy to an opposing point of view. 
If we could ask the mind on such occasions why it doesn’t listen, it would answer candidly, 
“Why should I? I already know I’m right.” 
We may not put it into words, but the other person gets the message: “You’re not worth listening to.” It is this lack of respect that offends people in an argument, much more than any difference of opinion.
But respect can be learned – in part by acting as if we had respect. We show respect by simply listening with complete attention. Try it and see: the action is very much like that of a classical drama. For a while there is “rising action.” The other person’s temper keeps going up; language becomes more and more vivid; everything is heading for a climax. But then comes the denouement. The other person begins to quiet down: his voice becomes gentler, his language kinder, all because you have not retaliated or lost your respect for him.
This element of respect requires intentionality. I must intend to show others a noticeable degree of respect, so that they are not offended by my disrespectful tone or words. My single pointed attention is the primary way I show that I respect someone. Or not.
Self reflection: Is it more important to be loving and attentive, or is it more important to be right?

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