Enslaved to the fear of loss

From Living Presence, Helminski, p.117: 

The more our sense of identity and well-being is determined by extrinsic factors, by things we possess or by what people think of us, the more we are unaware of our own intrinsic worth and the more we are enslaved to the fear of loss.

[We may begin observing this fear, from the impartial observer cultivated by “presence”.]

We may begin by noticing the small fears that control us.

We have fears- of being criticized and rejected, of being alone and separate-
--------unconscious and nagging fears that drain us, because we are not conscious of them. 
They have power because we deny their existence. 

Once they are recognized and examined, they lost much of their power over us.

One way to overcome those fears that have a paralyzing effect on us is to be decisive and challenging. 

Too often we cover our eyes and ears, when what we need to do is squarely face our fears.

We might, for instance, tell the subconscious:

“You are afraid of not being loved and so you hide your real self. You play a role, afraid to show your self as you are. But meanwhile you suffer this abandonment in your imagination a thousand times.

Wouldn’t it be better to be abandoned once rather than a thousand times?

And wouldn’t it be better not to have to pretend?

Isn’t your real self more lovable than your role playing self?

How did you ever talk yourself into living this lie?

Why not face the possibility of loss once and for all?

What is there to lose?”

This process of conscious reasoning is different from our ordinary inner talking. When we reason with ourselves consciously, we are motivated by our highest understanding. In the spaciousness of presence we are using the faculty of will, of conscious choice, by reframing the situation to induce transformation. The subconscious somehow became convinced that fear was necessary; we can convince it otherwise. 

We have a right to be free of unnecessary fear.